So, it has been a while since my last blog update (so much has happened since then!).  For the three of you who read my blog…sorry!  I will be better going forward J.

I had the pleasure of traveling to GSK’s Mississauga, Canada office for business in early May.  It was fortuitous for me because our CEO, Andrew Witty, was going to deliver his CEO broadcast from Mississauga.  As a team, we decided that we should attend the live broadcast.  Our hostess, Linda, informed us that we should get there early so that we could get a seat in the auditorium.  Good thing we did get there early…by 8:00, there was a line wrapped around the building!  You would have thought you were at a Lady Gaga concert with all the people waiting to catch a glimpse of our CEO whom everyone refers to as “Andrew”.  Everyone clearly wanted to see Andrew and with good reason – he is an amazingly articulate, eloquent and inspirational speaker. 

The first thing I noticed about the experience of first waiting in line and then sitting in the auditorium was the energy in the room.  It was palpable.  I could feel it within me and around me.  There was so much chatter and anticipation that it seemed as though the auditorium would burst at the seams!  It also was interesting to observe that the minute everyone caught a glimpse of Andrew, it turned eerily quiet.  Everyone stopped talking, looked in his direction and waited his next move or words.  He then proceeded to deliver a monologue about the logistics of the broadcast and was joking with the audience.  I was impressed with how down to Earth he seemed. 

When he proceeded with the broadcast, he opened up by joking about how he was the “warm up” act for the impending visit of Prince William and Princess Katherine to Canada.  There were some other jokes in there and it all worked to put him and the audience at ease.  Andrew then delivered his messages about the state of the Company and the industry as a whole.  He was honest, direct and complementary.  I always thought Andrew was inspirational because I would watch his broadcasts on the computer.  In person, I found him 100x more inspirational and charismatic.  Everyone within GSK should have the opportunity to see Andrew speak live at some point.

At the end, Andrew took questions from the audience.  It was during this exchange that I felt Andrew really sent a message about who he was as a person and a leader.  One woman asked Andrew if we would plan to do a better job with due diligence when buying other companies.  This stemmed from a situation where GSK bought a company and while transferring the process, realized that there were some issues with the manufacturing process that needed to be fixed.  Of course, this came at a price to GSK.  It was really refreshing to hear Andrew say that he didn’t see it that way; he had a different perspective.  What he saw was that GSK was now in a position to get a safer product on the market for our Patients and Customers.  That sent a powerful message to me about what Andrew valued as a CEO and as a person.

The most poignant moment for me was when he related an experience he had just a few years ago.  He was in the running for the CEO position and while in New York, he was offered the position.  You would think at this point, anyone in this position would pat themselves on the back and go out and celebrate.  Not Andrew.  He said he went into the bathroom of his hotel, looked at himself in the mirror and asked himself, “What will I do with this job?”  He then advised the audience that when they are faced with a similar situation, they should do the same:  take 5 minutes to reflect and ask yourself what you are going to do with the job.  It is clear what Andrew has done with the job and he has been quite successful while doing it.

So, what did I learn about leadership from seeing Andrew Witty deliver his employee broadcast?

LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS

1.       Leaders create and generate energy and excitement.  They then use that energy to produce extraordinary results.  The anticipation of seeing Andrew really revved up the crowd.  It wasn’t just the thought of seeing our CEO as a celebrity, if you will, that got the audience excited.  It was about his energy, how he was creating it in others and how he has used it to lead GSK through some significant changes within the Company and within the greater industry.  We saw that in his presence, his tone, his message and how that energy has cast a shadow on everyone else in the organization.

2.       Leaders take time to reflect.  I was really excited to hear that when Andrew was offered the CEO position, he took time to reflect on the enormity of the task that lay before him.  He really wanted to do right by the Company and right by himself.  By asking that seemingly simple question of “What will I do with this job?” Andrew was able to get some sense of perspective.  I am sure he thought long and hard about what he would do if he got the job, but when he did get it, he took some more time to think about the impact he could have on the organization.

3.       Leaders live their values.  I was so taken aback and impressed with Andrew’s response to the challenge about buying a company with some manufacturing issues.  The fact that our CEO spoke very clearly and directly about how we have now been able to get better and safer products on the market as a result let me know how serious GSK is about one of our values, Patient Focused.  For me, it let me know what is important to Andrew and what he expects all employees of GSK to be focused on.  That message came out loud and clear.  At that moment, I felt extremely proud to be a GSK employee.

APPLYING LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS IN YOUR LIFE

·         What are some ways you create energy and excitement in your life?  How do you then use that energy and excitement to get positive results?  Come up with three examples and commit to use them over the next two (2) weeks.

·         How often do you take time to reflect on your life – both personally and professionally?  Commit 15 minutes a day for the sole purpose of reflecting.  Keep a journal of your insights, ideas and actions.

·         Identify what your personal values are.  Ask yourself “are my personal values aligned with the values of my Company?”  If not, a change may be needed.  If yes, in what ways do you “live” the values?

Lights, Camera...Leadership!

In my spare time, I serve as Secretary of the Limerick Elementary School Home & School League (H&SL).  Since my oldest son has been at Limerick, I have had the pleasure and privilege of co-chairing the H&SL Variety Show with two amazing women.  I shall make them the topic of my next blog.  This one will be about Limerick Elementary School and its staff, students and parents.

The Variety Show is an annual event that is sponsored and coordinated by the H&SL.  Any student at Limerick Elementary can sign up to perform an act.  The show rarely disappoints and this year was no exception.  We had children play the piano, sing, dance, act out songs (think Grease!), do gymnastics and emcee the show.   Throughout the show, cheers for friends can be heard echoing through the auditorium.  High-fives can be witnessed as the children walk off of the stage after a job well done.  There is certainly no shortage of cheers when the staff, led by their Principal, Mitch Edmunds, takes the stage.  It is very clear to me that Limerick Elementary has the most talented children and staff in the whole wide world (not that I am biased or anything…)!

Year after year, I am overwhelmed with the spirit and enthusiasm of the Limerick Elementary community.  The children put in so much time and effort to get their act “just right”.  The sense of pride I see in the children when they walk off the stage just gives me the goose bumps.  Clearly, they couldn’t do it without the help and support of their parents who dedicate a lot of time to help make sure the children are ready for the big night.  It really is a labor of love in so many ways and for so many people.   

Every year without fail, I get emotional at some point in the show.  This usually occurs when I see a typically shy child overcome their fear of being in front of people or when I see the Limerick staff perform the Variety Show’s opening act.  To me, there is so much more going on at the Variety Show than good, clean, fun entertainment.  When I really thought about it during and after the show, I was taken aback by all the displays of leadership that I witnessed while being involved with the Variety Show.  Not only does Limerick Elementary have the most talented children, I would argue they have a huge pool of emerging leaders as well.

So, what did I learn from an elementary school Variety Show?

LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS

1.     Leaders take risks and go outside of their comfort zone.  I give these children a lot of credit for standing up in front of hundreds of people to sing, dance or perform in general.  Two things can happen as a result of their performance:  they will either be received well or not received well.  This uncertainty in the outcome can be daunting yet the children do it anyway!  Some children really have to overcome fears to be able to stand in front of a lot of people to perform.  These children do it amazingly well.  Over my career, I have found that personal growth occurs when I am uncomfortable because it really heightens my senses, enabling me to see and feel more in my environment and within myself.  So, taking risks can be a really good thing!

2.     Leaders need sponsors and must make time to sponsor others.  No matter what level you are in an organization, having a sponsor is so important.  A sponsor is your “cheerleader”; a person who takes you under their wing and supports you in your endeavors.  In this case, parents, friends and even staff served as a source of encouragement for the performers.  This encouragement goes a long way.  Not only did it serve them well for the Variety Show, my guess is it will serve them well into adulthood.  

3.     Leaders cast a shadow on those around them.  I saw two groups of individuals casting positive shadows during this Variety Show.  First, the staff of Limerick Elementary always sets the tone for the show by performing an act to open the show.  This helps model the behavior that performing in front of people, while scary, can be fun and rewarding.  The teachers, staff and Principal inspire the children and make the children want to perform.  The second group of individuals who cast a positive shadow are the children themselves.  They get up on the stage, have fun and seem to not worry about being judged or how perfect their act is or is not.  They are simply having fun.  I love seeing that and they have inspired me to try and do the same. 

APPLYING LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS IN YOUR LIFE

• How often do you step outside of your comfort zone?  How would stretching yourself into uncomfortable territory help you develop?
• Think about who your sponsors are.  If you don’t have a sponsor, commit yourself to finding one.  If you have a sponsor already, how do they help you?  What can you do to get even more from that relationship?
• As a leader, what kind of shadows are you casting on those around you?  What positive behaviors do you regularly cast?  What negative behaviors do you regularly cast?  What will you commit to change?

A Lesson From Ben Franklin

Even in death, Ben Franklin still manages to pass along wonderful insights and lessons.  I was the lucky recipient of his latest lesson.  My oldest son, Blake, was given an assignment in his 3^rd grade class.  He had to read a biography and then create a poster that would answer a series of questions about that person.  Blake picked Ben Franklin because he knew that Ben was a prominent figure in nearby Philadelphia.  Blake picked a book from the library and proceeded to read it so he could get started on his project.

I looked over the requirements of the project and thought, “Wow!  This is a really cool project.  There is so much that we can do to make this the best project EVER!”  I must admit, I love these elementary school projects and if I had to do them, they would totally rock…Anyway, after Blake read his book he thought we should go to the Franklin Institute where we could learn even more about Ben and see firsthand some of the items he possessed.  So, we spent the day at the Franklin Institute where Blake took some time to take notes in his notebook and take pictures of some of Ben’s personal effects.  During this excursion, I started to formulate what I thought the project should look like and what Blake should include on his poster.  I told Blake he should write about how Ben Franklin signed the Declaration of Independence or was the first Governor of Pennsylvania.  Blake wasn’t interested in those facts.  As he was taking a picture of Ben’s tea set, I tried to push him to take a picture of the bifocals Ben invented.  Clearly, Blake wasn’t doing what I suggested he do.

After all the data was gathered and all the pictures were developed, it was time to create and assemble the poster.  I sat down with Blake and lined out what I thought we should do.  He interrupted me as politely as he could and said, “Mommo, this is my project.”  To say I was a little offended would be an understatement.  I mean, I was just trying to help!  I wondered if the project would be as good if I wasn’t involved.   So, I left Blake on his own to complete his project.   I provided help when he absolutely needed it or asked for it.   There were times he asked my opinion and I provided it but Blake was basically on his own.  When he was finally done, Blake excitedly called us over so we could see the finished project.  I was speechless.  It really was quite good.  Looking at the poster, I was absolutely certain that Blake’s project was much better than any poster I could have created.  As he beamed with pride and a sense of accomplishment rushed over him, he asked that I take a picture of him and his project so I could show the “world” on facebook.  He was proud of himself and he should have been.  I think Ben Franklin would have been proud of Blake’s project but I am pretty certain that no one was as proud as me at that moment.

So, what did I learn from a 3^rd grader and Ben Franklin?

LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS

1.    Leaders give others the opportunity to develop and grow.  It would not have benefitted Blake in any way if I gave him all of my ideas because what would he have learned?  He would have learned to rely on others for ideas and not believed in his own abilities.  It was amazing for me to watch him light up when he came up with different ideas.  It was even more amazing for me to watch his initial ideas develop and blossom into something amazing from that initial, single thought.  This gave Blake confidence and allowed him to try different things (some which did not work) until he got it the way he wanted.  A true learning experience for him and for me.  Give people the time and space to grow.  Remember, it is not always about you!

2.    Leaders dare to do things differently.  Most people follow the rules and that generally works well for society.  It does not set people apart from others or change the world, however.  Those who dare to think differently and do things differently are the ones who typically leave an impression on others.  Blake didn’t change the world by doing research at the Franklin Institute.  What he did do was have the courage and confidence to challenge himself to do something outside of what he believed to be the rules (the instructions to the project).  He simply looked at the directions a little differently and followed his gut.

3.    Leaders take a moment to recognize their successes.  Blake was very proud of what he accomplished because he did it on his own.  He did not have to rely on me or anyone else to get it done.  He was proud of the work he did and felt a great way to celebrate that success was to post his picture with the project on my facebook page.  Acknowledging one's success helps build self-confidence so it should be done as often as possible.  Leaders should also recognize that there is nothing wrong with patting themselves on the back.

APPLYING LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS IN YOUR LIFE

• How might you be stifling or preventing those around you from realizing their full potential?  Why do you do this?  What can you do differently?
• Commit to yourself that you will look at one thing differently this week.  Approach it differently by challenging your typical ways of thinking and don’t allow yourself to do what is comfortable or what you would typically do.
• Reflect on a recent success.  How did you handle your success?  Why were you successful? How do you feel about your success?   What can you continue to do to be successful in the future?

Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.

~Ben Franklin~

Step Away From the iPhone...

In my last few blog entries, I’ve been sharing examples of people who have inspired me with their positive actions.  Well, I am not sure about the rest of you, but throughout my career I have also learned how to lead by watching individuals who have had what I would describe as questionable leadership skills.  Instead of criticizing and judging those people and their behaviors, I will simply point them out from time to time so that we can learn from them.  You can come to your own conclusions as to what you feel about them and whether they are good or bad.

My latest inspiration comes from two of my favorite things:  Starbucks and Apple (as in the company that turns everything to gold, Apple).  I visited my local Starbucks almost two weeks ago so that I could write my group dynamics paper.  Two younger students caught my attention, mainly because they were sitting right across from me.  They were studying for a science exam so I was naturally interested and drawn to what they were talking about (and clearly looking for a diversion from doing my own work).  As they were chatting and quizzing each other, I could not help but notice one of the girls’ constantly playing with her iPhone.  I am certain she picked her eyes up only a few times when she had to ask her partner to repeat what was just said.  What was equally intriguing was that her study partner did not seem to mind at all…it was kind of an accepted behavior!   Even when they were having a conversation, she kept her head down, focused on her iPhone. 

For a moment, I thought to myself, “Kids these days…they are too wrapped up in themselves and their technology…” I was appalled until I realized this is a common scene with me and many other leaders in the world today.  I looked around the Starbucks and everyone had some sort of technology they were “tied” to.  Then the insight came to me about what I could take away from these two young ladies.

So, what did I learn while sipping my Peppermint Mocha at Starbucks?

LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS

1.    Being a leader takes work and you have to practice.  I took away something positive from these two young ladies.  While I was watching them study, it reminded me how important it is for leaders to continually develop themselves.  Leaders need to study their craft:  if you want to be a better leader, you need to study leadership and practice it.   Good leadership does not happen by chance, it happens on purpose.

2.    Leaders are always in the present.  Leaders make people feel special.  They do that by giving people their undivided attention.  Leaders do not allow themselves to get distracted by their PDAs or other stimuli in the environment.  When they spend time with people, leaders make them feel like they are the most important people in the world.  They do not think about the past or worry about the future; they live in the “here and now”.

3.    Leaders work together.   Leaders don’t know everything but are smart enough to know what they don’t know.  When leaders need help, they draw in other people for support.  Leaders return the favor: they share their knowledge with others in the spirit of helping others learn and develop.

APPLYING LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS IN YOUR LIFE

• What are you currently doing to make yourself an even more effective leader?  Make a promise to yourself that you will work on at least one thing this year to be an even more effective leader.
• What pulls you out of the present at work?  At home?  How do you think people feel when you disengage while you are with them?  What will you now do differently?  How often do you make people (your loved ones or co-workers) feel like they are the most important people in the world? 

Children have neither past nor future; they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.  

~Jean de la Bruyere

WWJD When it Comes to Leadership?

When I think about leadership, I sometimes wonder how would Jesus lead?  OK, I admit that HWJL does not sound as good as WWJD but I found myself asking that question when I was in church two weeks ago.  When I think about how Jesus would lead, I am pretty sure he would lead just like Pastor Stuart at St. James Lutheran Church in Limerick, PA.

I have had the privilege of watching Pastor Stuart lead for a little over a year now.  I have been impressed with the way he communicates and inspires the congregation.  Pastor Stuart is by far the craziest Pastor I have known (case in point – he conducted service once with red and green hair)!  He is also one of the best I have ever seen not only because he is so passionate about his work but because he also happens to have a lot of fun while doing it.  What a concept, huh?

What I especially have noticed and appreciated over the past year being a member of St. James is the different ways Pastor Stuart reaches the congregation.  First, he does not stand elevated and hidden behind a podium.  He preaches – without a script – by the pews, at our level.  He uses creative ways to teach the members about church, the Bible or Scripture.  For instance, he has led worship series that follow a theme for a few weeks (reference Super Heroes of the Old Testament, Goals Oriented Life, Discipleship for Dummies, Luke for Lent, etc.).  These worship series inspire me to come to church because I don’t want to miss an “episode”.  That would be like missing a week of Glee and then watching it the following week and feeling slightly lost.  He uses impactful videos or movie clips that illustrate a particular learning.  It is amazing because I often have an insight and think to myself, “Man, I did not see that when I was watching the movie!”  Pastor Stuart tells stories – personal stories – that often make people have to grab a box of tissues (just ask Alicia…she’ll tell you!).   The congregation also loves (*chuckle*) when he asks everyone to reflect on a particular topic and then sends a microphone around where people can then share their insights.  As difficult or uncomfortable as that may be, it is very empowering for others to share their insights in a group setting.  When people share, everyone benefits and Pastor Stuart is gracious enough to allow that to happen.  Finally, I am not sure who has more fun during the Children’s Sermon – Pastor Stuart or the children.  He loves to rile up the kids (I like to call it organized chaos) but he delivers the messages in a fun way that helps the children remember the lesson.  All of these different ways of communicating ideas and values keeps it interesting, keeps it fresh and makes it relevant to me and other members of St. James.  Really, I could go on further, but there are already quite a few nuggets in here about leadership.  Let’s take a look.

LIFE’S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS

So, what have I learned by watching my Pastor in church:

1. Leaders make people think.  It is not just that they make them think, it is how they make them think.  Pastor Stuart mixes it up so that he can reach all people.  He uses videos, music, stories and Scripture to get his point across.  No matter what medium he uses, he does it beautifully and allows people the opportunity to have insights.  A second part of this is leaders believe in what they do and want to share that with others.  There’s not much more to say about this one other than a leader’s passion for their work shines through and catches others’ attention.  Leaders teach others and love doing it.  This makes people want to follow them.  A very powerful concept indeed.
2. Leaders have fun!  Yes…the age of the stoic leader is gone!  Leaders today know how to play and not take themselves too seriously.  People love when leaders show their fun side – leaders almost become more human when they do that.   When a leader has fun, people around him feel that they also have “permission” to have fun.  When everyone is having fun, ordinary people will do extraordinary things.
3. Leaders tell stories.  They pull you in when they share personal stories that serve the purpose of teaching a lesson or showing a more human and vulnerable side.  Stories allow leaders to pass on their values and beliefs in a way people will often remember.  Stories – if told over and over again – can transcend generations.   

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

I am now on my second blog entry and you might be wondering how I got to this point...to the point of blogging about leadership.  Well, I found my inspiration to start this leadership blog in the most unlikely of places...facebook.  Yes, facebook!  You know, that social media site that seems to be where you waste what little free time you have and that which connects you to 300 of your closest friends?  Yeah, that's the one...


A particular quote from a friend on facebook captured my attention.  (Disclaimer:  I do not know the source and actually think part of it is from Josh Groban's song "Believe".  I am not sure where the other part originated).  The quote she posted was:


Believe in what you feel inside
Give your dreams the wings to fly
Stop being afraid of what you can not see
Make a choice and set yourself free...


I have been struggling over the past two years to really determine what it is I want to be when I grow big.  After much reflection and time with some outstanding mentors, I felt that I was finally able to identify my true passion - leadership development.  I am fascinated with how leaders develop, how they do what they do and why it is that they do the things that they do.    


When I finally discovered my professional purpose (I have a personal purpose too which is different - that will be the topic of another blog some time...), I came to the harsh reality that I have no "formal" experience in this field.   Sure, I had been doing this kind of work informally in my career for about 10 years.  Sure, I have about 17 years of leadership experience in various capacities, but I kept wondering if I was actually qualified to do this kind of work.  I then had some personal set backs and rejections at work that just really shook my confidence and made me doubt my abilities.  So, instead of pursuing my passion, I kept doing what I was doing and continued to get what I always got which was mostly unfulfilling.  I took some steps, but not too many because the fear of failure was paralyzing me.


Then I saw that quote on facebook:   Believe in what you feel inside, give your dreams the wings to fly.  At that point, something just clicked and I made a commitment to myself that I would really, really pursue my passion now.  I needed to believe in myself and give myself at least the chance to be successful.  To do that, I recognized that I would essentially need to reinvent myself and move outside of my comfort zone.  This blog was my first step on that journey outside of my safe space...


I published my first blog entry, "Different Strokes for Different Folks" with much trepidation.  Would people like it?  Would anyone besides my Mom read it?  Would the readers take something away from what I had to say?  All these questions and doubts came flooding through me like a tidal wave as I contemplated publishing the post.  With a quick tap of my index finger I clicked the "Publish Post" button anyway, linked it to my facebook page, sent a few e-mails with the link to the blog and hoped for the best...


The next day, I was humbled by the responses I got to the blog.  I received so many positive comments through facebook and e-mail on my first blog entry.  Each comment from each person gave me confidence and a renewed sense of purpose.  I felt as though I was validated and my ideas counted for something.  I started to believe that maybe I am qualified to do this kind of work.  These people - my friends - took the time to comment on something I had poured my heart and soul into.  Because of that, I am now inspired to keep doing this blog; I am inspired to actively pursue my passion; and I am inspired to help others learn and develop by sharing my experiences.  I was filled with all of this inspiration because of my friends.  Who would have thought that a few kind words could make such a difference?  Who would have thought that facebook would have given me that opportunity?  I sure didn't but I know better now.  So, this blog entry is for all my friends out there who gave me just what I needed this past week.  You rock and I am privileged to call you my friend.  Special thanks also go out to my Mom - also my friend - who always builds me up and makes me feel special (I think she may also have visited this blog 80 times since I am approaching 100 hits...).  Join me now in chorus...


Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.  Oh, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends...


So, what did I learn about leadership from how my friends responded to my blog?


LIFE'S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS

1. Leaders sometimes lack confidence.  They may appear tough on the outside but leaders have insecurities like everybody else.  In this case, I really doubted my abilities as an aspiring leadership development professional.  To help me get over this, I needed lots of # 2.
2. Leaders need positive reinforcement.  A few words of positive recognition and reinforcement can go a long way in making someone feel good and valued.  Leaders are often the last ones to hear about the good they are doing.  Take a few moments to recognize the leaders in your life - not only will you make them feel good, you will feel great too!
3. Leaders take chances.  Leaders need to put themselves and the people they influence in situations where they can stretch themselves and experience things they may have never experienced before.  Doing so can create a new world of possibilities.  The bigger the risk, the greater the reward.  Trust me on this one...it is more than true!

Different Strokes for Different Folks

I spent most of this past weekend at a wrestling tournament.  Blake (9 years old) and Lance (5 years old) are first year wrestlers.  Wrestling is not for the weak of heart and some would argue it is tougher on the Mom's than it is on the wrestler's.  As they say, the only thing tougher than a wrestler is his Mom...

It was a double elimination tournament so once you lose twice, your day is over.  Blake was very excited and nervous at the same time.  He had his eye on the prize:  a trophy.  Blake was going through the scenarios in his head:  If he won his first match and then won his second match, he would be wrestling for 1st and 2nd place.  He was practicing and warming up well in advance of his match.  He was ready.

Lance wasn't nervous.  He was bouncing back and forth from the snack stand to the gym blissfully unaware of when he had to wrestle next.  He was happy to be hanging with his friends, playing his DSi and eating a fruit roll up.  Sure, a trophy would be nice but those Reese's peanut butter cups after the tournament would be so much better...

Lance lost his first match, 11-2.  He worked hard and held his own and never gave up despite being outscored each period.  When the match was over, he didn't say much other than he wanted a snack.  Really, Lance?  You just lost and you want a snack??

Blake's first match was exciting.  It was a great match and after three periods, it was tied 2-2.  It was a very physical match.  Blake was more the aggressor and that eventually led to his loss in overtime, 4-2.  After the match, Blake's demeanor changed.  He was mad at himself for losing and felt he should have had the match.  He saw his chances at the trophy slipping away.  We gave him encouragement and praised him for what really was an excellent performance.  He just wasn't buying it and remained in a bad mood until his next match.

Lance's next match was closer in score with him ultimately losing, 4-2.  After the match he asked, "Am I done yet?  Can I get a snack?"  Meanwhile, I am getting so frustrated.  Why doesn't Lance care?  Combined we are now 0-3 and Blake is in a bad mood because he lost and he has another match to go.  I am not spending an ENTIRE day in a small gym to lose!!  Long story short - Blake lost his next match.  He was pinned.  He was not at his best and he knew it but he did not give up.  He fought every step of the way but he was not a happy camper.  We were 0-4 for the day.  I am a competitive person and I was not happy at all but I kept it inside so the boys would not see my disappointment.

The ride home was rough.  All of Lance's friends got trophies and were playing with them as we were walking out.  I could see the disappointment in the faces of both Blake and Lance.  I stewed inside wondering what I should be doing differently as a parent:  should I make them practice more?  Should I give them more pep talks?  Should I not enter them in tournaments?  What was I doing wrong?

Later that night, we were doing our "highs and lows" over dinner.  I was sure they would not have anything to say for "highs" and would inundate us with "lows".  Imagine our surprise when Blake said his high was "how well I wrestled today at my first tournament" and Lance said, "I did not get pinned once and I was able to practice wrist control".   Imagine that.  Even though we were 0-4 and my boys did not win a trophy, they realized that there is something to be learned and appreciated in those failed efforts.  

So, what leadership lessons did I take away from a wrestling tournament?

LIFE'S LITTLE LEADERSHIP LESSONS

1. Leaders need to understand that people are different.  In approaching this wrestling tournament, Lance and Blake saw it completely differently.   They prepared differently.  They were motivated by different things.  They responded to losing in different ways.  Understand to appreciate those differences and don't judge them if they are different than what you would expect.
2. Leaders need to understand that sometimes it is not about the destination but rather the journey.  They did not win the trophy but through this process, they built character that will serve them a lifetime.  A trophy will collect dust, be forgotten and eventually be discarded.  I will take character over a trophy any day.
3. As a leader, it is often NOT about you.  So, get over yourself.  I wanted my boys to win because maybe that would have made me feel really good and proud (because I am a competitive person after all).  This is about them, their experiences and their emotions.  Respect that, take a step back and they may just surprise you.